Sunday, November 8, 2009

Fit for Motherhood

I frequently wonder why I'm not married and I tell myself all the standard answers. But this weekend, I thought it might be because I'm not fit for motherhood and this is why. My poor roommate that works with pre-school children with disabilities finally got H1N1. We both knew that it was inevitable and were hoping that I would be able to get my vaccine at work soon enough not to end up sick too and that she would get a mild case. Well she didn't get a mild case, but I got my vaccine in plenty of time to not get sick(knock on wood) Friday night she started getting sick and by Saturday she was in rough shape, but managing with plenty of Tylenol and fluids. And then the symptoms got worst and her fever spiked and then she as complaining of chest pains and I was very scared. Because I work for the provincial health authority I get all the scary details that don't get released to the media. So I called one of the medical residents in the ward and asked if he could come and give her a blessing and give me advice what to do. As an aside, I'm very grateful for all the women who let their husbands serve. I know that it can be a real sacrifice. After they left, I felt reassured that I was doing what I needed to to help her and I knew exactly what to look for as my sign to immediately go to the hospital. But has the night progressed and her fever got worst I was very scared. I hardly slept and spent the night alternating between monitoring her breathing and temperature, listening to her weeping in pain and know that here was nothing that I could do and praying that she was going to be alright and I would know what to do. Now I love my roommate, but I don't love her like you love a child and I wonder if I'm cut out to suffer that much. Finally when her fever broke it was such a relief, but I kept wondering if I could have handled a night like that 4 times over. I have no idea what the answer is but I'm glad my roommate is going to be fine.

4 comments:

Janine said...

I am glad to hear your roommate is over the worst. Such things can be really scary, and there is a lot going around right now. I am sure she appreciates you being there for her.

wilkinson_fam said...

Just reading this reconfirms what I've ALWAYS felt. You would make a wonderful mother. Who of us would not ache for a child hurting in any sense? I've seen the life of one of my own threatened by illness and I have never before or since felt so weak and helpless.

You have an amazing "mother heart", Charlotte. I am proud to know you.

The Sorensen Bunch said...

I want you as my roomate!!!! h1n1 really really stinks and it is very scary....BUT you are absolutely fit for motherhood if you can handle this!!!

Razzle Dazzle Mom said...

I think this post shows what a wonderful mother you will be! As you stated yourself, she is your roommate, not your child, yet still you kept a constant vigil and took such great care of her! What a sweetheart you are ( I know this because of the long distance caring you have done for me lately as well!)